Doing It

I have seen life cruelly

And peacefully

Richly and poorly

Alone and surrounded

By friends and loved ones.

Music has played in my ears 

Players have played before my eyes

Colors have danced 

Silence has been golden.

I have seen lovers love

And enemies fight

Death and destruction

Rebirth and creation.

All of what surrounds me and offers meaning and definition.

I have spent time contemplating the reason for my existence

Pondered thoughtfully what I would do if I knew the reason

Wondered why it even mattered that I knew.

I hurt deeply for the victims

Who have passed before my eyes

No one to care for them, I thought, 

Sometimes I think, none to care for me.

Politics and passion have visited my thoughts

Gut wrenching pain has flooded my nervous system

I have felt the heights of ecstasy

Felt the emptiness of heartache.

In silence I have rested

While nature surrounded me

Then into the center of commerce I traveled

Watching the play and listening to the players

Offer their excuses for what they were doing.

When is the logical conclusion to all the searching

What is the point at which I will die

Is there any level that really transcends 

If I were God or Servant I would still see

Time march past as it always does.

Chances have past me

Opportunities I have dumbly missed

Thinking I knew something

Or not thinking at all.

What is opportunity and when is there a chance...

Loves I have never loved

Ones who loved me I never acknowledged

Friends have drifted in and out of my life

Lovers have came and went

And yet I go on.

To what I keep asking

Through all this stuff

Through these times and experiences

Wanting things and people

Needing to be wanted.

Passing through this life

Whether it is once or many times

I will never know

I could only imagine

And even then

Only Time has the patience

Love, the virtue

Desire, the passion

To want to do it all over again.