September Coming
August - Fraught with lessons relearned, new lessons gained
Old patterns relived, received, and let go
Loves examined, released, realized, and lost
As summer prepares for the release, as do we
Lighten the load
Prepare for Less..
Winter white, shorter light, lighter air, colder nights.
We examine our place, position, and responsibility in each relationship we accept. Usually, others want to see in us what they are looking for, not who we are. We can exist in disappointed views if we do not "make" them feel how they expect. If someone says, "you don't make me feel special", examine that, and sit with it. Breathe and be you. We do not "make" anyone feel, we can provide them energy and they can take and use it however they choose; it is not up to us to decide. Relationships are exchanges of ideas, energies, feelings, and time. Our limited time is divided between choices, and many times we choose to spend 5 minutes or an evening; a day; a week, with someone or in connection with someone, and that is the most valuable gift we have to give. It is our life, and our time. If what is reflected back to you is doesn't fulfill you, or the response is turbulent, let it go. Emotions are the weather of our lives and they pass over and around us like the wind, rain, sunlight, and darkness.
Let go of the storms, stand in the winds, and feel them on your face, surrounding your body. Do not chase lightning, but if you do, do not be surprised at the shock if you catch it.
I woke at 5am to the sound of a Crow caw
High above, cold outside
I climbed out of my sleeping bag and listened to the silence of the forest
Watched the breath that escaped my mouth form little clouds, then disappear,
Somewhere out there, I thought, is life
The yin for this moments yang
Deep human connection, passionate moments, pain and joy filled days
But not here in this gray fall morning's moment of beautiful, delicate, silence.
Remembering a discussion with a friend about finding something inside of not looking
I wondered that if I were not searching for something, and found it,
Would it be different if I found what I had been looking for,
Could the emotion or love I can describe and define, be real?
Or is it the unknown, un-experienced and wine not yet fallen from the grapes
That taste the sweetest
The moments unplanned, kisses not expected, hugs not coerced
That mean the most to us?
I am sure most would agree the point of exciting, unexpected surprises
But standing here, in this moment
Thinking about some future moment that may occur
How can I know if it's real because I want it to happen or because it may happen on it's own?
Does my feeling it now take away
Any meaning it may have
Already experienced in my minds' eye
Not yet my heart's?
As the Sun warms the forest floor, the Crow caws again
Then flies off, in search of food that no doubt
He knew he needed, yet he slept through the night anyway
With the expectation that with luck, it would be there when the dawn came.
As I began to build a fire, I realized that what may happen in the future
Is probably something I will be looking for without trying
Because I will wake with the dawn, instinctively searching
Without knowing but with expectation it will be there, planned or unplanned.
Through un-searching, it will be found.